SPEAK OUT.

There has always been a part of my life that describes death. So many times I wanted to die and this feeling has been with me since young.

Right up until my hospitalization. It felt as good as a brush with death. I have no idea how to describe the feeling, but I really felt that I was going to die. Going to die at a time that I did not plan. What was running through my mine was, oh shit I didn’t buy life insurance. I haven’t tell my feelings to people I love.
That instant, I was swarmed with regret.
I realize, I didn’t want to die then.
I wanted to live.

Since that moment onwards, I fear death. I want to live. And this fear hasn’t left me once. Times when things are tough, yet I realize I’m not turning to death.

What a turning point for me.
But I am still unable to describe this euphoria to anyone. Because nobody understood how much I wished for death.
Yet right now, I wish for life.
At that moment, it was rebirth for me.
For the first time, I felt that I really wanted to live.
Perhaps it is now the time I start living.

just-shower-thoughts:

Your car alarm should yell your name.